Friday, March 30, 2012
I'm having one of those weeks.
The kind where I think, what the crap was I thinking?
I had it good.
Money, prestige, time, sleep... all the things that I use to have.
Now I have a dirty house. No clean laundry. Two screaming boys. Intermittent naps (no longer a full night's sleep).
Choosing to be a mom was the best choice I've ever made, but it isn't always a glorious choice. Especially when I feel like half the time I'm walking around with spit up on me.
I have to constantly remind myself that I made this choice. That I wanted this. That I prayed for this. And I have to shake myself and think of the good. The fact that Tank wakes up the happiest kid of all time with huge smiles and hugs. That Bug is learning at an astonishing rate and his imagination makes me smile all the time.
And sadly, I know this is just a phase, and soon my little babies will be boys, and then teenagers, and then gone. I know how fast this is going to go. So why am I not cherishing their hugs? The fact that they aren't embarrassed by me? The fact that they only want me? The fact that when I kiss their owies it is magically better?
But I'm human. And sometimes selfish.
So I went to my roots and make a 5X7 image to put in a frame on my mantle. This week it is a gentle reminder that when life gets away from me to take a step back and breathe. Count to 5 (the round circles) 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... and then be happy.
For my boys.
For the chaos that I wouldn't change... even to get the money, prestige, time, and sleep back.
Because happiness is a CHOICE.
I need that visual reminder that I really do love my life. Even when the moments can be hard to live through.
And next week when I need a different reminder, I'll make one. Cause it's easy. Cheep. And fast.
Lets face it. That's all I have time for running after Tank.
Maybe next week I'll remind myself to shower! HA!