Deliberations

After a lot of thought I've come to realize that I can't do it all.

In my head I get this glorious plan. I like to plan. It makes me happy. A schedule is a thing of gloriousness that comes close to chocolate.

But as Tank has gotten bigger, and a lot more mobile, my life with this little guy is nothing short of chaos. My first boy lulled me into a false security. I thought I had it down. I thought, HEY! This is totally doable.

Then came Tank. And my life as I knew it was over.

There is no sleep in my house.

There is no schedule.

There is no plan of action... because then Tank destroys it.

Now don't get me wrong. Tank is all smiles and happiness. He plows trough life with a kind of joy only dreamed about. He is the reason people want to bottle baby energy. He makes my days full of laughter, but also makes me fall into bed praying he will stay asleep. I love my little man, but he must be supervised... at all times.

Or bad things happen.

Very. Very. Bad.

So this blog is going to morph into what it was meant to be from the beginning for me. A way to breathe for a minute. Maybe post a funny picture or tell a funny story... and when I actually have time post something creative I've done.

Because it has to.

I am mommy first. And that's exactly who I want to be.